


I don't want somebody like you

by Jossasund



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25942669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: Emma and Regina have been on and off for years now until Regina actually walks out on her, due to the darkness surrounding Emma and the little will do do anything about it. They have walked out of each other's life's many times before but never like this.Will they find the way back each other?
Relationships: Belle/Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	I don't want somebody like you

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written Sq or any fanfics for years so I wrote this without really knowing where it's gonna lead. I don't have a beta so sorry in advance for my grammar.
> 
> And if u like the story, Please let me know! 
> 
> Possible warnings for mention of self harm.

"emma.." a voice said. Making the blonde snap back to reality. Kind, yet worried eyes met conflicted ones, as Emma felt Regina squeeze her hand. "what's on your mind?"

the question was asked carefully, since both women actually hated this question in particular, because was there a question that would lead to a fight, it was this one.

Still, Regina hoped it would happen tonight. Tonight she hoped, more prayed, Emma would be the bigger person and let her inside her walls, because they had started to drift apart again and Regina hated it.

She hated the darkness that refused to let go of its grip of her beloved girlfriend. Emma bit her lip, not sure what to answer, since she didn't even know what it was this time around that made her feel sad. She just felt trapped in a downward spiral and Emma wished she had the guts to just end it, all for once, so Regina could be happy with somebody else, because she didn't make her happy, Emma maybe had, but that was a long time ago. Nowadays the only thing she did, was causing her beautiful brunette pain, and Emma couldn't understand why Regina was still with her, in all this chaos.

She wasn't worthy of her love. Emma had tried her very best to push her away, but Regina never stayed away for long. She always came back. Both to Emma's joy and sorrow.

"Emma, please, don't shut me out. Please" The tone In Regina's voice was desperate and it broke Emma's heart. It really did because she wished she could give Regina the world, the moon, the sun and the stars. She really wished she could. But she couldn't. Emma just couldn't. She couldn't give Regina anything.

They sat in silent for what felt like a million years, and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. They still held each other's hands, and Regina wondered when enough was enough, and it wasent the first time she had questioned how much she longer she should put herself through this, whatever she now should call it with Emma. Regina maybe loved her most of all in the world, but this roller-coaster that was Emma Swan, had taken a huge toll on Regina, and she was tired. Sometimes she wondered why she had stayed together with the blonde for so many years, but then again, Emma had at least tried her best to get better back then, she had tried to open up, she had tried to let Regina understand the chaos in her mind, but then something happened and Emma shut down completely.

Regina sighed and stood to her feet, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Something, deep inside of her, told her that this couldn't continue. She was slowly suffocating. "Emma. I can't do this anymore" Emma sighed and stood to her feet too, walking up to Regina and carefully taking her hands in hers. "it's okay Gina. Maybe it's for the best" she tried to sound calm and all that, but she was far from calm. She was internally screaming. This was Emma's biggest nightmare, come to life. Regina stroke Emma's cheek and pressed her lips against the blondes for one last time, as she fought to not let the tears spill over.

_______________

"Gina?" Belle said with a hoarse voice said as opened the door in the middle of the night, seeing Regina stand on her porch, with red and puffy eyes. Belle didn't ask what had happened because she knew as she gave her trembling friend a tight hug and pulled her inside of the house. Regina was exhausted, as she dropped her bags to the floor of Belles hallway, amazed over the fact that she was still standing up.

Belle offered her a crooked smile and nudged her friends shoulder, bringing her back to the presence. "come Gina, screw the couch, you'll sleep in my bed tonight" Belle said carefully, hoping it wouldn't come out wrong.

"how about Red?" Regina asked, dumbfounded. "she's at granny's tonight, so come on, I'm supposed to work tomorrow, I need my beauty sleep"

__________

The apartment felt empty, just as Emma did inside. She felt hollow, unreal and it was all her fault. She had finally lost the only thing worth living for, the only thing that mattered anything for her.. _Who was she kidding,_ Regina had been her everything, her queen. And now she was gone and this time it was over for good, Emma thought to herself as she sunk down on the floor, her scarred arms catching her attention.

Her shaking fingertips danced over the scars, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before her arms would be filled with new, fresh cuts, now when Regina was gone. She had been the only reason to why Emma hadn't cut herself for long, even if the had wanted to, so many times, she hadn't because of Regina. But now she couldn't care less. Now she didn't have someone to be fight for. I _didn't fight for her. I just let her leave. I'm a coward_. Emma dried her eyes and wondered what would happen now, and wondered if she should ask Granny, the only person she had ever considered being a mother figure to her, if Emma could move back to her and Ruby's apartment. At least for a while, because Emma was afraid to face this darkness all alone.

She shook her head at herself, a feeling of worthlessness washing over her, because if she had only tried to explain to Regina, about something, anything that was going on in her head, she hadn't been sitting here in complete darkness, all alone. Emma would have been safe in the arms of her beautiful brunette, but she had instead made her leave. _Why_? Emma asked herself, because she didn't really know why. First it had felt like it was for the best, at least for Regina, to not have to worry about Emma and instead being able to find someone who actually deserved her, cause Emma didn't. Emma didn't deserve half of the amazing woman Regina was. But now when the thought really sunk in what Emma had done, she gasped for air. Emma had let the best thing that ever happened to her, disappear, in a blink of an eye. She quickly sent her best, and also only friend, a text. 

**Swan:** I fucked up. Real bad this time.

_____________

The next morning Regina woke up by the sound of the door close and a sigh escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered open. She missed Emma already, so so much. Even if there wasent anyone who had hurt Regina as much as Emma had, there wasn't anyone she loved as much as she loved the blonde.

Regina's mind began to race. She shook her head as realized that she had probably snuggled Belle all night without being aware of it, but thankfully she knew the younger brunette didn't mind what Refosm did, they went way back, since they were childhood friends, but Regina wasn't sure Belles girlfriend Ruby, would be thrilled to hear about this, but then again, if Belle didn't say anything about it, Regina wouldn't either. She was fed up with stupid arguments.

Regina finally sat up in the bed and reached for her phone, hoping she would have gotten a text from Emma but she hadn't. Regina felt hurt over it, not really knowing why, since she had been the one who walked out, and not Emma. Still she couldn't shake this guilty feeling off.

To be continued? 


End file.
